So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
