If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
