i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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