so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
