If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize