you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
