One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
