tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
