you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
