I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
