I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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