my vag is so smooth its legendary
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
So many bounce houses so little time
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize