I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
