the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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