He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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