I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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