No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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