We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Those nachos came to me in a dream
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize