That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
