Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
tonight lets celebrate not being married
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
