I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
