got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
