he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
