i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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