we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
