I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
