Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
