yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
