If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize