I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize