Its about making memories worth repressing
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
