But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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