Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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