Me too!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
