He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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