he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
