I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
i need some magic done to my vagina
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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