Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I have feelings that need drinking.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
