none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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