So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
