She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
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