yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize