Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
