Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
