1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I know her cup size but not her name....
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