You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
