You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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