i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
