How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
