You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
