yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize