All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
