drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
