i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
You ever have a fart follow you around?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize