so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
and she was petting her beer can
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
