note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize