yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize