I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
