And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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