that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
