I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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