She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
