She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize