This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
