Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
only if we run a train.
done.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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