I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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