"it" just moved
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
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