His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
