She is in my trunk
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
