Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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