letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
