I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
