Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
