We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
