I'm really into asian looking animals
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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